Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Love Hurts

Love hurts, love scars,
love wounds and marks any heart
not tough or strong enough
to take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain...
The Everly Brothers/Nazareth

Forget life-threatening superheroism, acting Too Dumb to
Live, and Tempting Fate. The most dangerous thing any 
hero can do in any media is... falling in love. Dare to love 
someone else and you set up yourself and your beloved for
a plethora of emotional griefs. Love in Real Life is 
responsible for vast quantities of anguished poetry and 
tragic literature; factor in all the crazy stuff that happens 
on TV, and drama and disaster are practically guaranteed.
About to commit permanently? Look for an Anyone Can Die 
to put a permanent end to the Will They or Won't They? 
issue. Forget to say goodbye to your beloved that one time?
It'll haunt you for the rest of your life. And let's not forget 
that becoming emotionally attached to one person leaves 
you open to the stress caused by the villain abducting your
beloved or them even being killed off senselessly just to 
shape you into the Anti-Hero, or at the very least a  
Heartbroken Bad Ass. Your love is hurt but alive? Don't You 
Dare Pity Me — they will shove you away. Or perhaps you'd 
be their Second Love — if only they didn't think Silly Rabbit,
Romance Is for Kids!. Love will make your heart go soft and
pitter-pattering into the path to be crushed by the cruel 
forces of fate against Star-Crossed Lovers. Small wonder 
that so many try to protect their loved ones by dumping them.
If you've got more than one love interest, you've got a  
headache-inducing Love Triangle or even Love 
Dodecahedron on your hands. Tread these waters very 
carefully, lest you be on the receiving end of a Yandere's 
poisonous affections or a Tsundere's Megaton Punch
Pick one lover and you can look forward to either a  
Thundering Herd of jilted rivals or the silent shattering 
of many other hearts. All in the name of comedy, you say?
Comedy never became as twisted as it does when dealing 
with lovers crazy enough to beat down your door, glomp 
you, and refuse to let go. And remembering the love 
interest anywhere you go makes it worse. And heaven 
forbid if your love turns out to be one-sided. You'll become 
a crazy psycho stalker if you don't choose to nobly 
sacrifice your love. Sometimes you'll even go all the way
into a full-fledged villain with a grudge against humanity 
because humanity was not kind enough to let you have that 
one person. Sometimes it's even your own creator who 
decides that you can't get them because he couldn't get
her in real life! In the right/wrong genre, even when you win, 
you lose. Little wonder why many a hero has chosen to be
a Genre Savvy Celibate Hero. However, if you do manage 
to get it right, love can be the purest and most powerful 
thing in the world. Counteracted with Cleaning Up Romantic
Loose Ends. Contrast Happily Married

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